Top 10 Things I Love About My New XBox 360

10. Too many games. When she bought me the XBox, Maryann also bought me The Incredible Hulk, Dark Sector, and Marvel: Ultimate Alliance. We went to GameStop soon after. I bought used copies of BioShock and Assassin's Creed, along with a new copy of Batman: Arkham Asylum. Maryann bought used copies of The Simpsons Game and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The result was that, for a few days, I didn't go near the XBox. I just had too many goddamn games to beat. I didn't know which one to do first. Eventually, I decided I would have to play them one at a time and wait until I beat one before I moved on to another. It's nice to have too many options.

9. BioShock. This was the first game I conquered. BioShock is a first person shooter. With one hand, you use weapons like pipes, guns, and grenade launchers. With the other, you use drug-induced super-powers to blast things like electric bolts, balls of fire, and flesh-eating insects. You have to admit, that's pretty frickin' cool. I mean, I would've settled for shooting people with guns, but lightning bolts and Tommy Guns? That's like getting the best BJ of your life, and then she decides not to charge. Pretty sweet.



8. So far, it just doesn't have the addictive qualities of World of Warcraft. I mean, I love the thing. And some games are more addictive than others. But it doesn't have the heroin-like I'm-awake-I'm-home-why-am-I-not-on-WoW? pull that World of Warcraft does. It has online capabilities, but so far - beyond downloading add-ons to games - I'm not interested.

7. Besides lifting heavy things and peeing while standing, it is the only thing at which I am clearly better than my girlfriend. Actually, okay, besides peeing while standing, it is the only thing at which I am clearly better than my girlfriend. After watching her stumble through the tutorial level of The Simpsons Game for what felt like 40 minutes, I was ready to rip the damn controller out of her hands.

6. When I first thought about getting the XBox 360, I was curious about any superhero games available. Of course, I found mention of The Incredible Hulk online, and unfortunately most reviews of the game slammed it pretty hard.

After playing it, I SO don't care what anyone else has to say about it. I love it. Not only can you break and smash just about ANYTHING in the game (cars, street lights, park benches, trees, innocent bystanders), but there's a wonderful freedom-of-movement aspect of the game with which you can maximize destruction. The game takes place in New York City and you can wander around the city as much as you want without taking part in the actual story of the game (though eventually the game spawns a constant stream of military units who will follow you). You can, after causing enough damage, knock down any building in New York City, including numerous Marvel Comics landmarks. As the Hulk, I've destroyed the Daily Bugle building, the Baxter Building (HQ of the Fantastic Four), Doctor Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum, the Law Offices of Murdock & Nelson (Daredevil's day job), the Latverian Embassy (the country Dr. Doom rules), and Iron Man's Stark Tower. You can even destroy the Marvel Comics office, though it would've been more fitting to destroy the DC Comics office I guess. I did feel a little guilty knocking down the Apollo Theatre, but otherwise destroying buildings as the Hulk is a great stress reliever.

5. Three words - Chicks, chicks, chicks.

4. Sequels. I had no idea when I bought BioShock and Assassin's Creed that they both had upcoming sequels. Assassin's Creed II in November, BioShock 2 in February.

3. Batman: Arkham Asylum. I don't want to say too much because I plan to write a review about it soon for Trouble with Comics, plus I haven't actually finished the game yet, but aesthetically it does for superhero video games what The Dark Knight did for superhero movies. Just a wonderful game with some absolutely stunning sequences, particularly when you come across Scarecrow.



2. The new video game technology makes it possible for video games to be something much more than what they were. The work and artistry put into a lot of these games is amazing, and it makes me wonder whether or not some of them could - if not now, then somewhere down the road - be considered more than games. Art? Maybe. Some, particularly the RPGs, are closer to being interactive movies than actual games anyway.

1. Easy Mode. I wish everything had an Easy Mode. Why the hell would I play any other way? Because it's more "challenging?" Pfft. Kiss my ass, cyborgs. I got shit to do.