Top 10 Thoughts Regarding the Passing of Patrick Swayze

10. I care more about your passing than I thought I would, Mr. Swayze. I guess you always seemed like the kind of person I shouldn't like - a handsome actor playing all-American heroes in action flicks. But it's tough to ignore the fact that you were an important part of the pop culture landscape for the better part of my childhood and even early adulthood. The Outsiders, Red Dawn, Road House, Point Break, even Donnie Darko.

9. I wonder how many people remember Ghost being the Titanic of its day. Instead of Celine Dion, it revived the oldie "Unchained Melody" and had it playing on every teenage girl's walkman. And I'm willing to bet it brought some more interest to the art of pottery, too.



8. If you had killed Neo in Point Break, it could've spared us all a lot of bullshit later. Not your fault. I know. 'M just sayin'.

7. Oh man, I just realized. There are probably gonna be so many tribute videos, jpegs, etc., made of the part at the end of Ghost when he goes to Heaven. Which, I guess, is fine. And fitting. I didn't begrudge anyone when they made all those Superman-flying-to-Heaven cartoons after Reeves died.

6. I don't know much about Swayze's personal life. Next to nothing really. So the only negative thing I can say about him is that he helped, and indirectly continues to help, survivalist assholes justify their paranoid dogshit.



But, he was a young actor trying to make a name. And it isn't like gun-nuts need that much help coming up with reasons to be nutty about guns.

5. Actually, you know, he would've made a damn good Captain America when he was younger.

4. How many people remember when Dirty Dancing was considered controversial? Seriously. Can you believe that?

3. Seriously...looking at a cast photo of The Outsiders...dude...if you and Dillon had just knifed EVERYBODY in that picture do you realize the brighter world this place would be?!?!?! No Karate Kid II or Karate Kid III, no Minority Report or Jerry Maguire, no Men at Work or Young Guns, no Tommy Bo--well, okay, to be fair I guess those assholes from SNL could've found someone else to play villains in their shitty movies...

2. He let a goofy fat guy into his bouncer super team in Road House.



As a representative of goofy fat guys everywhere, thanks.

1. Thanks for acting and being a part of my life, Mr. Swayze. Have fun on the other side of the clouds.

(And if you see that guy whose throat you ripped out, apologize dude. Seriously. Apologize.)