9. I'm happy to see Gollum was able to get work after melting in Mt. Doom.
8. I don't care if I were a wizard or a witch or a house elf or what. If I had to actually tell people. "Yeah, I'm a Hufflepuff," I'd shoot myself in the fuckin' head.
7. Well in the first book there was just "muggles." Now there's mudbloods, squibs, and parselmouths. Rowling is better with racial slurs than Archie Bunker.
6. Anyone else think these wealthy, intelligent, super-powerful wizards could do with installing a video camera? A couple of motion sensors?
5. Why isn't Hermione the main character? I realize magic is handled differently in different fantasy series, but I'm pretty sure one of the universal factors is that wizards can generally cast spells. Harry doesn't seem to, like, use...magic. He mainly just gets attacked by monsters, and then Dumbledore's stuff flies to him at just the right moment so he doesn't die. Hermione, on the other hand, actually casts spells. In a fight, I'm betting on her.
4. Why does all the bad stuff lead back to Voldemort? Harry Potter's world needs a more diverse Rogue's Gallery. Some dude with an island. Moon rockets. Some robots and shit.
3. In the film, Branagh is frikkin' hilarious. I guess everyone's good for something.
2. Are there only English wizards? Is there an American magic school where they do special cowboy magic or something?
1. I read "Chamber of Secrets" and I think "Vagina."
1 comment:
I think you're right about Hermione. Harry would have died several times over if she wasn't around to save his ass. Unfortunately the series would be really boring if it centered around her.
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