Top 10 Things People Tell Me To Do That I Don't Want To Do

10. "Don't buy any more than 5 comic books, okay?"

9. "Smaller portions!"

8. "Calm down!"

7. "Wake up!"

6. "Ssssshhh!"

5. "Not on my face!"

4. "Not in my mouth!"

3. "Stop fucking the couch!"

2. "Stop touching yourself!"

1. "No karate in church!"