Mick's Top 10 Psychic Predictions

10. The new cool, hip Internet social networking tool will be unveiled by the end of the year. It will be called "Junkface."

9. Within 5 years, Denzel Washington and Nicolas Cage will co-found a support group for male actors who used to do great work before they got worried about the sizes of their respective penises and so resorted to nothing but retarded, Fast and the Furious quality action flicks.

8. I will use "Glen Danzig" too many times on the lists and the same people who complain that I don't blog enough will complain about it. I will care about this. A lot.

7. Glen Danzig.

6. A bunch of people with iphones will tell a bunch of people without iphones that they're stupid for not having iphones. Eventually, the iphone owners will have to download a new app to clean all the cum off their screens.

5. Somewhere in New Orleans, a waitress will have a kinky, voodoo-tinged one night stand with a charming, rule-bending police detective. Unfortunately, in the morning, the detective will awaken to find the saucy temptress murdered in his bed. The detective will find himself on a strange adventure, attempting to clear his own name, avenge the death of this innocent-yet-limber young woman, while breaking the laws he's sworn to protect to hide the evidence that could reveal himself as a suspect. It will not only be a murder investigation, but an examination of the darkness of the human soul.

4. You will order some kind of delivery food. Somehow, there will be a mix up when you call and the person who takes your order will write down the wrong address. You will lose the phone number of the place you ordered from. The delivery person will never find your home. You will never get your food. You will both believe the worst in the other, and you will be both be wrong. Months later, you will meet and fall in love, ignorant of the delivery snafu of which you were both important parts. If you're not careful, Rob Reiner will find you and make a romantic comedy out of it.

3. You will be FUCKING wrong. Everyone will know you're FUCKING wrong. You will know you're FUCKING wrong. Your friends will tell you you're FUCKING wrong. Your family will tell you you're FUCKING wrong. Your stupid children will tell you you're FUCKING wrong. And you will be such a stubborn FUCKING FUCK that you just won't FUCKING admit it.

2. Someone extremely rich will do one of the following within the next 6 months - be cremated and have their ashes scattered in orbit, go around the world in something stupid like a hot air balloon or a canoe, or kill a panda with a monkey wrench.

1. A hard-nosed, straight-laced, squeeky-clean Republican congressman known for pushing anti-gay bills will be seduced by a younger man who will sell the secret sex videos to all the major news networks. You're welcome. I just have to get a video camera, and I'm good to go.