(Quick background – Between the time I stopped blogging and now, I quit smoking and all nicotine supplements. Today is my 88th day without nicotine.)
10. Cold Turkey really is the only way to go. I tried for months and months with the nicotine gum. Ended up getting addicted to the gum. Seriously. My favorite was the “Fruit Chill” flavor. At times I crave it more than the cigarettes.
9. After you quit smoking, God still hates you.
8. The fear of being without cigarettes is much more potent than the actual withdrawal.
7. The layover between quitting smoking and becoming a self-righteous non-smoker dickhead can be surprisingly short if you want it to. It didn’t take me long to look at my co-workers smoking in front of the building and think, “Oh! How disgusting!” Also, my testicles are missing.
6. Some people actually WILL be completely fuckwadish to you when they find out you’ve quit, like the guy at work who – on my Day 2 – offered to give me money to buy smokes if that was “the problem.” This helped lead to the easy transition mentioned in #7.
5. Apparently, after you quit you’re not supposed to have any any. Like, AT ALL. Can you believe that shit?
4. Hookers hardly ever talk to me now.
3. At first, you think that the constant stream of well wishes from friends, family, and co-workers is annoying. Then, the first time you mention you quit and someone DOESN’T respond with a “Good going!” or “Congratulations!” you realize you really wanted it.
2. When you don’t have a car and you live in an attic apartment at the end of a windy, narrow, dark staircase, laziness becomes a surprisingly powerful ally in smoking cessation.
1. People who smoke smell like ass.
1 comment:
I bet #6 was an attempt to keep you in the club. After I quit, I got attitude from my old smoker buddies. Because it's a further reminder to them that their behavior is socially unacceptable.. and who wants to be reminded of THAT? So they just do everything they can to keep you on their team.
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