9. Yep. you guessed it. Even Wolverine fucked Ben Franklin.
8. Wolverine was not only alive in World War II, but World War I! He's not looking forward to World War III. It will make just as much money and have better special effects, but still suck.
7. He was alive during the Ice Age, at which point the Hulk kicked his ass.
6. You know that "hobbit" body they found? Yep. Wolverine fucked him too.
5. He's so old, he actually remembers when the successful formula for a super-hero franchise was more than "let's just have him kill guys and be an asshole."
4. He's so old, he remembers when Stan Lee first started making up the bullshit stories he tells now about how all of Marvel's ideas were his. EXCELSIOR!
3. He was alive during many comic-cons, at which point he did not get laid.
2. Wolverine often reminisces about the ancient days when having 10 gigs of storage memory was, like, a whole lot!
1. Wolverine was alive during the rule of the Roman Empire, at which point the Hulk kicked his ass.
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