Top 10 Reasons Why Lord of the Rings Is Better Than Star Wars

10. I am fairly certain that neither J.R.R. Tolkien nor Peter Jackson had the motto "Blue Screen Solves Every Problem" tattooed to their asses.

To be fair, the special effects of the original Star Wars films were revolutionary for their time. That's part of the irony. I feel very strongly that - in spite of the obvious improvements in special effects between the production of the original films and that of the prequels - the special effects of the original films worked better and were, in fact, more believable than those of the prequels.

I was particularly struck by this when they started heavily promoting Revenge of the Sith. Their first teaser trailer for Sith had very few clips from the film itself, and instead had clips from all the preceding films. In one part, you see Luke in the original film on Tattooine, looking at the planet's twin suns. In another, there was a shot from Attack of the Clones, with Darth Jr. on his speeder heading for the Sand People, and in the background - once again - you see the planet's two suns. The first shot looked like what it was supposed to look like - a guy staring at two suns. The latter shot looked like an asshole in front of blue screen.

In other words, the effects of the original Star Wars films, and those of Lord of the Rings, were there to do what special effects in films of the fantastic are supposed to do - suspend the viewers' disbelief and draw them into the fictional world. Whereas the CGI of the prequels was there to make you think "Wow! Cool CGI!"

9. Stories written by writers can be fun!

8. Most of the actors involved with Lord of the Rings went on to do more than cartoon voices and lame comic-book related Christopher-Guest-rip-off mockumentaries.

7. Lord of the Rings did not attempt to shove a faux Eastern religion down the throats of its audience.

6. When villains in Lord of the Rings get burnt all to shit by lava, they actually die.

5. When Gandalf found a race of goofy diminutives, they didn't try to eat him.

4. As far as I know, no principal characters in Lord of the Rings - in either the books or the films - french kissed their sisters.

3. Christopher Lee played a villain in both film franchises, but in Lord of the Rings he wasn't given a name that toddlers use to describe SHIT.

2. No Jar Jar.

1. The books are better. The movies are better. Simple as that.