10. Ninjas.
9. Have Governor Paterson enforce daily nap times.
8. Remind all these rich lawyers that they aren't getting any younger, their contracts with The Guy Downstairs are going to be up soon, so they may as well try passing a law or two before their eternal sunbathing sessions begin on the Blasted, Fiery Plains of Was-It-Really-Worth-It.
7. Burn down every house in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Florida worth more than $500,000. With nowhere to sleep, the senators will have no choice but to stay in session.
6. Do what my brother does with his kids. Hide the power-sharing agreement in a wadded up piece of bread and put the bread in their spaghetti. They won't even notice it.
5. Put them all in the same cop movie, kill off all their partners, and have the precinct captain make them team up. As they face life-or-death situations that force them to put aside their differences, they just might learn that they're more alike than they thought.
4. Close down all the golf courses in the state until they work this out.
3. Go all Noriega on them. Lock the doors of the Capitol shut and blast Poison and Bon Jovi until they take care of things.
2. To hell with 'em. I've been waiting for my chance. Give me a few robots and a moon laser, and Daddy will be here for you.
1. Petition all law enforcement agencies to cease any and all crackdowns on prostitution in New York State. Senators on both sides will be more relaxed and affable in no time.
1 comment:
After reading your list, I couldn't help but nod and pace back and forth in my computer room. I.. I think we might be onto something here.
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