MARYANN: Honey could you do me a favor and clean the litter box?
MICK: I GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!!!!!!!!!
MARYANN: ...
MICK: ...
MARYANN: I can't believe I moved for you.
MICK: I wanna hold your hand.
9. Choosing to like reggae. Just for a day.
8. Talking to the kids around the apartment complex to find out who the biggest asshole 11-14 year old kid is, stealing his bike, and using it to implicate him in at least two murders.
7. Having a dazzling, furious battle over the web of bridges separating Albany from Rennsselaer with a nigh-unbeatable cadre of lightsaber-wielding ninjas, me and the ninjas locking horns while leapfrogging car roofs, finally ending the battle by using my earth-shattering strength to snap one of the bridges in half, sending commuters and ninjas alike spinning towards the river, flying to the rescue of those commuters who were obeying the traffic laws during the battle, and finally hanging out in the nearest bar with the more attractive surviving commuters.
6. Beating up Iron Man
Drunk fuck.
5. Making a video for "Last Night" by The Strokes using only a Hulk action figure, a Barbie doll, and a toy wheelbarrow.
Just think about it, man. Think about it.
4. Using an Orlando Bloom mask to teach my new kitten Gimli to hate elves.
3. Coming up with a drinking game for the extended Lord of the Rings films, and seeing how long I can survive it.
2. Using Coldplay lyrics in conversations for no discernible reason.
MARYANN: Honey, could you do me a big favor and take out the garbage?
MICK: I used to rule the world.
MARYANN: ...
MICK: ...
MARYANN: Really honey, it's starting to stink.
MICK: We never change, do we?
MARYANN: We never change what?
MICK: No one ever said it'd be easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.
MARYANN: ...
MICK: ...
MARYANN: Funny hearing you of all people talking about things that are HARD.
MICK: ...
MARYAN: ...
MICK: That's cold.
1. Cake. Presents. Sex. Music. Beer. Party. Not in that order.
7 comments:
There's so much reggae pop on the radio. I don't understand why it's popular. I fucking hate reggae!!! I have to assume the only reason why it's so popular is because of white guilt.
I would have to respectfully disagree and say it probably has more to do with weed than anything else.
Ya know, we talk about other things besides household chores! Why didn't you put that in your stinkin' list?
OMFG, I had you totally getting the better of me in a humiliating manner and you complain?
Do your own list blog, gypsy!
Whaddya mean? I sound like a nag! I am not!
btw, can you clean the toilet, the tub and the sink when we get home tonight? Oh, and honey, can you please iron all my clothes and detail my car?
Thanks - you're a peach!
I see.
Was it the battle with the lightsaber ninja or the make-believe ass-kicking I give the superhero who doesn't exist that gave away the fact that this list was supposed to be a real-life documentary about what actually goes on in our home?
I'm up for the ninja battle.
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