Top 10 Things to Consider When Deciding Whether or Not to Play World of Warcraft

Someone is beckoning a friend of mine towards the mystical world of Azeroth. She still hasn't decided whether or not to take the plunge. I thought I would help.

10. To date, there have been two expansions to the game. Also, like other online games, when you play World of Warcraft you will occasionally need to download patches. World of Warcraft has been around for close to 5 years. So, if you decide to play, you will be installing World of Warcraft, then World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade, then World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King, and finally 5 years worth of patches. The entire process is likely to take around 8 hours. And no, I'm not kidding or exaggerating.

9. Read this, and realize that if you join a WoW guild, you will learn that when I wrote that list, I wasn't joking that much.

8. Dwarves are better than Elves. It's not an opinion. I proved it.



7. You will have to learn a new language. You will need to find a friend or two to translate or you'll be completely fucking lost. And if you don't believe me, then once you ding 40, head to SM Lib but make sure you manage your aoe so your dps isn't so high it aggros over the tank and causes a wipe.

6. If you plan on playing a female character, ask yourself how many private messages you want from players wanting to do things to you only legal in Thailand. If you're not okay with that, play a male character. Or, go ahead and play a female. Just make it either a dwarf or a gnome.

5. People will tell you that playing a Hunter is for newbs, that it takes no skill at all, that hunters are overpowered, and that it's the absolute easiest thing in the game to do.

They're right. Don't be stupid. Play a Hunter. (Here's mine)

4. Eventually, your guildmates will want you to get a program called Ventrilo that facilitates voice chat. It's best to lie and say it won't work on your computer. I guarantee you most of the people in your guild are annoying.

3. Eventually friends are going to want to take you into dungeons. If you want to figure out whether or not you have enough time to do it, ask the person who invited you how long it will take. Multiply their answer by 2. Then add an hour.

2. If you choose to play WoW, you will eventually experience a very important moment.

In WoW, you can adjust your camera view by clicking and holding the left mouse button anywhere on the screen, and then rotating your view by moving the mouse while still holding the button.

One day, you will go looking for videos people made of WoW and posted on YouTube. Maybe someone will tell you about a funny one. Maybe your guild leader will tell you to go check out the video of a boss fight to help you learn your role in the encounter. Or maybe you'll just be curious about one of those dumb ass videos people make of their WoW characters dancing to "Numa Numa."

At some point, you will start clicking on the YouTube screen in an attempt to rotate the camera view, just like in the game. It will take you a couple of seconds to realize that you actually THINK YOU'RE PLAYING THE GAME, even though you're not.

This will bother you. It will be a very blue pill/red pill moment.

You're probably gonna take the red pill. Just so you know.

1. My ex-girlfriend had a rule about WoW. While she would later use it in a sadistic and manipulative manner, it's still a good rule. If you do choose to play WoW, keep it in the back of your head in case you begin to lose yourself in the virtual world of Azeroth.

The rule: "The first time you refuse sex for WoW, it's OVER."