Top 10 Reasons Why I Couldn't Be A Vampire Slayer

10. I'm a dude.

9. I totally would've killed Angel in Season 1.

8. I'm really tired.

7. First time a demon busted into my house and broke my shit, I'd quit. As long as it was my mom's stuff, whatever. Touch my Hulk comics, and that's a deal breaker.

6. I would probably yield to temptation and work out a non-interference deal with female vampires in return for sexual favors. That'd be okay for a while. No danger of squirting a baby, so that's cool. But eventually this would lead to a low population of male vampires and a very high population of female vampires that no longer had any reason to screw me, but would love to kill me. So no difference from real life, except for the super powers.

5. I would never be able to maintain the circle of friends Buffy enjoyed. The prevalence of Sunnydale citizens named after inanimate objects, concepts, or plants (e.g., Spike, Angel, Faith, Willow, Dawn) would lead me to make far too many bad jokes (e.g., "Hey Willow! Getting enough sunlight? No? Talk to Dawn! HA!").

4. I totally would've killed Cordelia in Season 1. Or, alternatively, would've allowed her to be turned into a vampire (followed by an example of Reason #6).

3. Musical Episode.

2. Super-heroes should fly. Buffy doesn't fly. I'll hold out for Superman. Or Iron Man. Or Jesus.

1. Season 7.