10. I cuddle.
9. I assure you I have no STDs. However, as a potential partner you may be understandably concerned with such a risk. Consider that the only way to have sex with me without contracting an STD is to, first, have sex with me. Which means if you don't have sex with me, you'll contract an STD. Think about it.
8. I am currently reading She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. And I graduated with an English degree. With Honors. I know how to read between the lines. I know my lit theory.
7. It would help me quit smoking.
6. I never fake orgasms.
5. I keep a very complimentary form letter which, upon request, can be forwarded to future sexual partners, potential employers, money lenders, or university admissions offices as a glowing recommendation.
4. My wang is wonderful and promotes joy.
3. Most people, upon meeting me, wish that I were asleep. Guess what helps me sleep?
2. If you don't, then the terrorists win.
1. If you want to have sex and I happen to be playing World of Warcraft, I will totally bail on my guildies. Like, immediately. Even if it's a raid. Even if it's Heroic Botanica and it's the daily quest. I mean, that's 7 badges of justice, so it'd be cool if you'd wait, but I'd totally do it. RL cums first.
4 comments:
Advice. Don't mention your ex anymore. Knowing that you slept with her deducts points from your overall sexability rating.
Okay, now that's not very nice.
Who the hell is this anyway?
(I'm guessing A-team)
"I am currently reading She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner, Ph.D."
*glances over at her bookshelf*
Umm, Sex for Dummies, The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, 101 Nights of GRRREAT Sex (lies!), The Art of Sexual Massage, The Making of Final Fantasy. Oh wait, that last one doesn't belong. What about the Rifts sourcebook? Good grief.
...
Dammit, I should've gone to Canada for my vacation.
;P
Post a Comment