10. Superman is really, really strong. He's a lot stronger than Hulk at first. But the more fun that's being had, the stronger Hulk gets. And he just keeps getting stronger and stronger and stronger without any limitations, until he eventually surpasses Supes in strength and durability. Superman is unquestionably the alpha male of the super-hero world, but unlike Hulk he has limits. Superman is an incredibly massive dildo. He makes everyone look inadequate, and he's usually got more than enough girth to do the job. But he can't get any bigger no matter how many batteries you throw in him. The Hulk, on the other hand, is Pinnochio's cock, if Pinnochio's cock got bigger when he lied instead of his nose, and if Pinnochio were the President of the United States.
9. The usual arguments from Superman fans on a Superman vs. Hulk debate are littered with examples of their favorite boy scout using murderous tactics against the Hulkster. They say he could throw the Hulk into the Sun or he could shoot his heat beams through the Hulk's ear and fry his brain. This is a good example of why most people who engage in this superhero vs. that superhero debates are fucking morons. They never take character into consideration. They consider only what the heroes can do, not what they would do, and I guarantee you Superman would never use any tactic against the Hulk that he thought might kill him. This is precisely why Hulk would win. The only way for Superman to beat the Hulk is if he unleashes everything he can onto the Hulk right off the bat. If he goes whole hog, without pulling any punches, he can take the Hulk down. But he NEVER does that. Too much risk of killing his enemy, too much risk of hurting innocent bystanders. The Hulk, on the other hand, cares as much about his enemies and innocent bystanders as I care about the longevity of musical theater as an art form. Which is to say not.
8. If Jimmy Olson tried to call in the Justice League to help, Rick Jones would totally kick his ass. And steal his signal watch. And pawn it for a guitar.
7. Step 1 - Kidnap Lois, Step 2 - Threaten to break Lois's neck until Superman punches himself in the face as hard as he can until he's unconscious, Step 3 - Profit.
6. Superman is a white boy.
5. Batman would give Hulk pointers.
4. Animals love Hulk. Krypto would mutiny.
3. Ed Norton > Brandon Routh. Who's Brandon Routh, you ask? Exactly.
2. Ever hear of that big comic book event a while back called The Death of the Hulk? No? Yeah, that's because it was called The Death of Superman. Wimp.
1. Hulk is the strongest one there is.
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