10. Vampires rise from their graves with super strength, insatiable hunger, and an intricate knowledge of martial arts.
9. Vampires can't breathe, but they can smoke. Beat that.
8. If a villain becomes popular, don't automatically respond to that popularity by making him a good guy. If you have to have him on every week, just have him introduce a new invention at the beginning of every episode like on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. GENTLEMEN!
7. There are a lot of things you need to make a great, classic, innovative television show. Acting talent isn't necessarily one of them.
6. Not everything is like a war, Joss. High school is not like a war. High school cliques are not like a war. Hiding in your house with a few dozen teenage girls is not like a war. Not everything is like a war, Joss. Not everything.
5. If you kill a character, intend to bring him back, and want that return to be a surprise to any of your viewers, putting his name in the opening credits of every episode is probably a bad idea.
4. Eliza Dushku was a regular in two seasons of Buffy, and one season of the spin-off Angel. And she had brief appearances in one season of the former, two seasons of the latter. She still gets acting gigs. That corny thing your parents and teachers tell you about you being able to do anything you want to do? It's true, dammit. God help us, it's true.
3. English people spend a lot of time getting beat up. They actually don't do a whole lot else.
2. Anti-immigration legislation is not only immoral, but completely unnecessary. There are far fewer non-white people in Southern California than we've been led to believe.
1. Leprechauns aren't real.
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