Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Top 10 Stupid Clichés

10. "You can't have your cake and eat it too." Then why did I buy the cake? Dumbass.

9. "Every cloud has a silver lining." How the fuck would you know? Can I borrow your magic carpet so I can see for myself?

8. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." Yeah, but first you have to get them to fall. That part's tough.

7. "Every rose has its thorns." Isn't this why gardeners carry sharp things?

6. "It's always darkest before the dawn." No it isn't. What freaky hemisphere do you live in?

5. "The pen is mightier than the sword." Good to know. When my daimyo orders me to restore my honor by committing ritual suicide, I'll go to the corner store and buy a pack of bic pens.

4. "Boys will be boys!" Whoa! What a prediction! Psychic powers are real!

3. "All is fair in love and war." Try that argument at Nuremberg, dickhead.

2. "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Why? Did someone sneak a velociraptor egg in there?

1. "Behind every great man is a woman." He must really be great. I couldn't pull that position off.

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