Vader's mark on America's pop culture landscape cannot be denied. But he's on the bottom of my list because his bark is so much worse than his bite. He fought Count Dooku, and in spite of being aided by Kenobi, got his arm cut off. He fought Kenobi twice. The last time they fought, he failed to kill Kenobi, who gave himself up to the force. The first time they fought, Vader ended up missing most of his limbs and on fire. He fought his son twice. His son escaped the first time, and kicked his ass the second. The shittiest sports teams have a better record than this asshole, and yet he's treated as the stuff of nightmares. I could kick his ass.
9. Sho'nuff.
Dude, that first shot when Sho'nuff breaks out the energy fists on Bruce Leroy is epic.
8. Mojojojo.
He's a monkey with a giant brain. His name has 3 O's and 3 J's and is one of the most deliciously fun names to pronounce. That's really it.
7. Hannibal Lecter.
Yes, he is a super-villain. He eats people. He has super-smelling. And he'll make you commit seppuku if you jizz on his guests.
6. The Mandrill.
Kind of obscure, but he's got a special place in my heart. Mainly because he's a super-villain who's obviously gay even though this has never been explicitly mentioned in the comics.
Let me explain. The Mandrill is a mutant, like the X-men, who was born with the body of a baboon, and the power to control the minds of women. He has ambitions towards global domination. Why do I claim he's gay? Well, people with goals towards global domination generally have anger issues. If you're a heterosexual man who can make women do anything you want, in spite of the fact that you look like a fucking monkey, exactly what do you have to be angry about?
If he's gay, however, it all makes sense. Imagine how angry you would be if you were a gay man who looked like a monkey, you were gifted with mind-controlling powers but they only worked on people you didn't want to have sex with, and you were constantly coming into contact with physically perfect men in skintight clothes, but all of them wanted to beat you up. Yes, this would lead to anger issues.
5. Galactus.
He eats planets. Not only is that unbelievably cool, but imagine the potential for humor. If he eats planets, what does he shit? If he eats China, will he be hungry again a half hour later?
4. Lex Luthor.
Just one of the classics, he can't not be on the list. I've always been a Marvel man myself, so I'm not intimately familiar with him. The one thing that's interesting is that he's one of the few villains I liked better in the film adaptations - both in the form of Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey. Neither played the comic book Luthor, but both were unbelievably fun. I might feel different if I'd read a lot of Superman before seeing the movies, but I didn't, and I don't.
3. The Joker.
There is something so powerful about the Batman/Joker conflict that I can never clearly put my finger on. There are a lot of things going on between those two. Order vs. chaos, society vs. anarchy, and of course there's a sexual element that's potent. In fact, in spite of what a smartass I am, I'm not kidding one bit when I say I suspect that the controversy surrounding Brokeback Mountain had something to do with Ledger landing the Joker role in The Dark Knight. That may sound far-fetched, but consider whether or not you think Robert Downey Jr.'s very public drug addiction had nothing at all to do with his casting as Iron Man - the first superhero to ever suffer from chemical abuse (he's an alcoholic). Regardless, there's something more with Batman/Joker than a jester provoking a knight. To put it simply, the Joker feels like someone reveling in his deviant sexuality while simultaneously trying to "convert" Batman and feeling superior to him because of Batman's inability to surrender to his desire. Maybe that's reading too much into it, but when you think about superheroes as much as I do, it doesn't seem that crazy.
2. Doctor Doom.
If Marvel Comics gave me a call and told me I could write one issue of a comic book, and I would never be able to write another comic book ever, Doom would be my villain.
Not only is he a villainous mastermind, but can kick most heroes' asses before they even know his foot is on its way. He's noble, tragic, and utterly ruthless. The scene in Secret Wars when Doom attacks the all-powerful Beyonder is, to me, the definitive comic book super-villain moment. A Luciferean bastard striving against creation itself, knowing he can't possibly win, surviving only on his love for himself and hatred for everything else.
1. God.
He's announced his intention to destroy the world, and has a rather large percentage of humanity waiting for it hopefully. That's one devious bastard for ya.
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